..sigh..

I want to smile again..I haven't done that in a while..My day started out with a sense of discomfort..I promise myself i was going to look at things in my life and be optimistic about it..but instead i frown on everything my day, my dreams and mostly me..I can't bare to look at myself in the mirror without feeling huge..but recently i feel like wanting to be sweep of my feet once again i miss the soft kisses on my lips and the way he would look at me..yes there's a man in my life..i miss the way he smiles at me..this entry of mine is not going to be long but i just want to get the feeling of loneliness out of system..

My Friday..

Yes! It's Friday night and I'm home alone! and I'm typing this while reading my cosmopolitan and having ice-cream at the same time. My day was like a melting bowl of ice-cream! Fridays are always the worst! I have a 9:30am class and I'm an Art student so you probably can imagine the sleepless nights and the very heavy bags! As i got out of my bed i knew i was going to be late! It was 8:30am and I rushed to the shower threw on some clothes and walked to the tram stop! it was late again! I was basically real F***ed! The moment i arrived class there was hardly anyone there! I was to tired to do any work and so i fiddled with pieces of paper trying to pass my time! John Love my Principle and Elements teacher was eager to drag our sorry butts to the State of Design fair! It was cold and i wasn't in the mood of leaving my class! Time passed so quickly.. before i knew it was looking at Klaus Rinke recent drawings it was amazing..his work consisted of charcoal and acrylic paint on canvas as i stare the masterpiece i wonder whether if i was going to be as successful as he is today.. the world is surrounded by so much talent and now there are more competitions then ever.. i could feel my heart racing.. i had to try not letting that get to my head and so i continued looking at Grace Tan's work how she built a paper sculpture shaped like a fish net and hung it on the wall in consisted of do many pieces of paper stapled together. I knew i had to get out of there so my friends and I decided to go for lunch my mind was suddenly at peace.. for a moment before i started thinking about am good enough for this course? Will i make it? Then as i started eating bits of my food i looked at myself in a very disgusted way.. I always felt insecure, but when go to Australia i felt like i didn't belong.. I have lived in many countries but some how Australia was different.. Well that's me for now! Till tomorrow then..